


When one can't speak

by Myr



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Loki Has Issues, M/M, Stark Tower, Tony Stark Has A Heart, banished!Loki, loki!whump, norse myths, sewnlips!loki, tony is too good
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-12
Updated: 2014-02-07
Packaged: 2018-01-01 07:35:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1042114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Myr/pseuds/Myr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Tony finds Loki with his mouth sewn shut, he just can't take him to shield. Loki really reached bottom but Tony's having none of it. Trying to find out how to get trough these physical and metaphorical wires, they slowly start to grow on eachother. How will Loki find redemption? Will Stark be able to save him in more than one way? find out inside *badum tss* Longshot</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> characters are from Marvel.
> 
> sadly I do not own them.
> 
> Frostiron, first story, non-native user of the English language. I have no beta. This is typed on my phone so the format might be a bit odd... If you read all this and are still willing to give it a try...Thank you so much.

 

**-When one can't speak-**

What is it?

It is madness says reason

It is what it is says love

It is unhappiness says caution

It is nothing but pain says fear

It has no future says insight

It is what it is says love

It is ridiculous says pride

It is foolish says caution

It is impossible says experience

It is what it is says Love

Erich Fried

~~~~

**prologue**

**somewhere in new York**

~~~~

  
The god of mischief collided with the ground, his face hitting the stones with a sickening crash. Old dry blood mixed with new blood and he tried to groan. his lips didn't part and another flash of insane pain shot through his mouth. he didn't saw anything as his eyes shot open and the memories returned.

All those days in the cold dark cell-knowing nothing-waiting- his trial- all the angry and scared looks from the Asgardians- his mother crying-his fa-Odin speaking out-his sentence-Thor grabbing him and pushing him down- his useless struggles- the dwarves coming in- the cold needle in front of his face- on his lips-his last screams- the needle moving- unbearable slowly- inch after inch trough his flesh-In-out-paaaain-In-his vision blurring-darkness rising-pain-Out-In-Out- the unconsciousness didn't came-make this end, please!-pain-In-pain-pain-pain-please!-Out-and then he finally passed out.

When he woke up later the sun was setting and he was ice-cold. A cough died in Loki's troath, not being able to get out. His limbs were sore and his whole body was in pain but he managed to raise an arm. Touching the cold metal that sealed his lips, a single tear left his eye and he passed out again.

chapter one

Stark Tower

"You have an incoming call from S.H.I.E.L.D. Sir" The electronic voice of his AI Jarvis mentioned.  
Tony sighed and took another sip from his scotch. "I am not at home."

"They say it's an emergency sir."

"They always do Jarvis. Urgh, just put them on the line then." barely a second passed before he heard an indifferent voice addressing him.

"Mr. Stark, we require your assistance. We got a message from a man who claims to have found Loki. Apparently he'd be in a bad state. It is probably false alarm since he should be facing punishment on Asgard but we need someone who'd be able to handle the situation if it were true."

The millionaire sighed again and raised from his chair. "I'm on my way. Jarvis, prepare the suit."

While walking out he got into the suit and flew of, following the coordinates Jarvis had received from the S.H.I.E.L.D agent. New York faded under him as he gained speed and approached an old industry-terrain. At the entrance there was a little group of people looking very scared. When he reached the ground an old man motioned him to follow and they went into a ruin of a huge barn. the roof was gone and the ground was filled with piles of stones and other they reached the middle of the ruins Tony noticed a body. The limbs were tangled in strange angles and there was blood all around. Only his shirtless back was visible and he had indeed the same hairstyle as Loki, but to be able to say it was Loki?

The man on the ground seemed rather dead, and only his very ragged and heavy breathing gave away he wasn't, so Tony approached him slowly. The back looked already horrific and bloody and he didn't wanted to see the rest but sadly this had to be done and it was his job so he grabbed the man's shoulder.

Lucky that he was still in his suit. He barely managed not to threw up at the sight of the man. Not an inch of his body was not bruised or under fresh or old blood. From an open wound in his arm he saw the white of bone and his face wasn't worthy of being called a face anymore. But the worst was his mouth.

It was full of old and new blood, bile and it was sewn shut in a horrible way with a rusty thread. The little wounds looked red and infected. The billionaire's mind was racing. He pushed the disgust and horror aside and thought about what had to be done.

"It is the madman that tried to destroy the city isn't it? My daughter was there that day and she recognized him." The old man whispered.

A minute of silence passed and Tony was glad he had his mask on. Finally he ended the inner fight he was holding with himself. "No." He finally muttered.

"No, it isn't Loki. He looks like him indeed, but you guys must've been fooled by the wounds."

The old man looked doubtful but said nothing. "I'll take him to a hospital. We'll be able to identify him later. But don't worry, it isn't him."

With each word the lies came easier and he got more convinced this was the right thing to do. The man on the floor was indeed the Asgardian god Loki but he couldn't just take him to S.H.I.E.L. would let him recover just enough to get awake and then continue this torture. When Tony had hacked their system he hadn't only found weapon-manufacturing plans. They way S.H.I.E.L.D. Treated their prisoners really didn't appeal to Tony. Especially not the ones who had information to give.

S.H.I.E.L.D. probably wouldn't do less than the state the god was in now. So the superhero scooped him up and flew away trough the ceiling. He made connection with S.H.I.E.L.D. and reported.

"False alarm dudes. Probably some lunatic with long black hair who drank himself into coma and made a bad fall in there. They're taking him to a hospital so I assume this is over then?"

"We'll classify this as false alarm. You can go home." The S.H.I.E.L.D agent on the line answered before breaking the connection.

"No problem at al, it was my pleasure" Tony sarcastically said to the empty air around him.

He tried not to look at the mess in his arms and only speeded up. "Jarvis, call my doctor. And make him sign a contract about not telling anyone or anything about this, just to make sure."

"I must probably warn you sir, that this might not be your best idea ever." His AI answered.

The man in the suit chuckled and nodded. " That might be totally true. But it doesn't change the plan. Make sure that S.H.I.E.L.D. or anyone else doesn't find out though."

Jarvis confirmed that he would make sure it wouldn't leak. Tony landed on his balcony and entered his tower. He carefully dropped the god on his cough and wiped some hair out of his face. Hissing at the disaster loki's face was he wondered what happened. Who could've been so cruel to sew one lips shut? He filled a glass of scotch for himself and thought to himself that he just couldn't understand this. Asking Thor about what happened wouldn't be possible since the god hadn't returned yet. Tony raised an eyebrow as he looked at the security footage visible on his tablet and saw the elevator arriving on this floor.

The doctor, a gray haired elderly man named James, got out together with his secretary and ex-girlfriend Pepper.

"Jarvis, I thought I said no one?"

"I am sorry sir, but she catched Mr James in the elevator and her suspicion is already raised. She doesn't know about your other visitor yet though."

Sighing the billionaire murmured "It's too late now anyway." and a second later his two visitors came in. Pepper didn't waist a second with looking around and attacked immediately.

"Anthony Stark what is this about? Why do you need a doctor and why do I not kno- " Then she finally saw the body on the cough and her eyes grew as big as tea saucers.

"Oh god Tony what have you done?" She yelled at him.

Tony shot the doctor a look and asked him to help the guy on the cough. He grabbed Peppers hand and pulled her on the balcony, where the doctor wouldn't be able to hear them. Whilst explaining why he took in the god and what S.H.I.E.L.D would do if they catched him his CEO sighed deeply.

"Tony..." she started but he quickly interrupted her. "I'm sorry Peps but I can't send him over to S.H.I.E.L.D. As much as I hate him for what he has done I can't let them torture him to death. I can't handle them alone but I can stop them from doing this to another person. And I don't know who did this to him but if it were the Aesir, I'm not sending him back there either."

"I was going to say that it was your own fucking choice but that you wouldn't be able to contain him once he can stand Tony." She answered looking her irritated-by-irresponsible-Tony-Stark-self.

"I have this cell for the Hulk if he ever needed it down in my lab. I had some readings from last time he did his little magic show over here so I think I managed to make it magic-pro-"

"you think? Oh Antonhy Stark, really..." Pepper started but seeing the look on his face she nodded.

"I am in San Francisco for a week running your business but if there's any sign of danger, Jarvis, you get all the avengers over here instantly and you warn me too!"

"yes miss Potts" the AI answered since he was also programmed to follow her orders. Walking out Pepper threw one more disgusted look at the god and disappeared towards the elevator. Tony got into the room again and closed the door to the balcony.

"that went easily..." He sighed turning towards the god. In contrary to Pepper he couldn't look at the god with disgust. Disgust for the ones who had done this, yes. but seeing him like this only made Tony feel pity and sadness. Of course he was angry about the trickster trying to kill Coulson and destroying half New York but no one, not even a crazy psychopath, deserved this. His doctor came in drying his hands with a towel.

"Well I've seen bad wounds, especially from you Mr. Stark, but this beats them all by far. Very far." The doctor murmured shaking his head. " The people who did that to him...the thread is rusty and the wounds are all infected. I am going to disinfect the cuts and other wounds on his body first but I don't know how far this mess goes inside."

"Jarvis, possible scans. Will you be able to get that out? " Tony said pointing at the metal thread.

"depends on what material it is. If I have something that can cut through it, I can get it out."James answered, starting his job. " I hope he doesn't wake up though. It will be a hell of a painful time. "

"I hope it too." the avenger answered, staring outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N.
> 
> actually I am not a writer. My English is bad, I rather read, I am the queen of writers block. But there was so little frostiron around lately , that I just needed to supply my own needs. Which means I will only continue to post this story if anyone is interested. If you are still reading by now, I don't care if you liked it or not, thank you so much already.
> 
> xxxx
> 
> Myr


	2. waking up

**Still at Stark Tower**

Tony stark sat on the end of Loki's bed. The god was still unconscious but all his cuts and bruises were taken care of. His other injuries and broken bones ( a shoulder, upper arm, 4 ribs, a leg and almost all the bones in his right hand ) were treated as best as possible and he was thoroughly cleaned and wearing a green pyjama picked out by Tony.

The only thing that wasn't taken care of were the stitches. They tried. Tony and James even dragged him down to the lab and tried to cut it with every imaginable thing down there but it had been of no use. The thread had been unbreakable. So they had done everything they could do and then put the trickster in the cell. James had gone home and would return the next day to check up on the patient.

Loki's cell had a simple bed, one chair, a toilet and a sink. There was a bedside table with some clothes and books on it and cameras and microphones hung around visible and invisible. there were even heat sensors. 3 of the walls were plain white but the one with the door was entirely made out of glass. Or something way stronger that could pass for it. It was 10 in the evening, the god still hadn't waked up and Tony was just thinking about grabbing some food and scotch upstairs when he finally showed some signs of life.

The first thing he was conscious about was pain. It was all over his body, especially around his mouth. It made it difficult to feel and think about anything else but after a while he noticed that, even though the pain was intense, it wasn't as bad as earlier. Then slowly the realisation came that his bones were back in the right places and half his body was wrapped in soft bandages. He was lying in a bed. Loki tried to shift but when that turned out to be too painful a soft moan tried to escape his troath but it never managed to leave and the god was confronted with the painful truth again. Trying to distract himself from it he slowly opened his damaged eyelids.

At first the light blinded him but then Loki managed to distinguish a person sitting at his feet. The person shifted and he heard a familiar voice.

"You're awake, sleeping beauty?" Tony stark asked with one of his typical grins.

The god tried to groan. Out of all people. Anthony Stark. Stark! Was there really no mercy for him? Somewhere in the back of his mind though, a little voice told him it could've been way worse. Ignoring it the he turned his head away but he got startled when something suddenly landed in his lap. He looked up to see a notebook and some markers on his legs and his questioning eyes rised to Tony Stark's face.

"I have some questions. I figured you wouldn't be very...talkative" The human shrugged, trying to hide a little smile because of his own pun. Sighing Loki rolled his eyes and grabbed the things in his lap, twitching from pain at the movement.

Tony looked rather relieved when he looked like collaborating and the god couldn't help but wonder why the humans had chosen Stark to interrogate him. Or why they had treated his injuries. Why there seemed to be nobody else around. where they trying to give him a feeling of safeness? Choosing Stark as his guardian was not a very obvious choice then.

The human interrupted his thoughts by shifting and speaking. "So you're in my tower right now. S.H.I.E.L.D doesn't know anything about you being here but one funny movement and Jarvis, my all-seeing eye, will get the other avengers here in a second. You're in a cell that's supposed to be able to hold the hulk, remember him? and that is supposed to be magic-free but you are the first test on that so I'd like us to get along well enough to not have to test that. Now I would get you something to eat bu-"

The mortal continued to rattle but Loki looked down on the paper and wrote a word on it. Holding it up Tony could read an elegantly written _"Why?"_

The millionaire sighed. "Why not? after you were gone I checked some things about S.H.I.E.L.D. and they way they treat their prisoners, especially those with information, I don't approve of it. I've been a prisoner. Tortured too. And as much as you have wronged this world, I wouldn't wish that to anyone. Especially not after that. Is that the 'Asgardian punishment' you were going to face? " The human motioned at the taller man's mouth and the god felt a flash of humiliation going trough him for a second. He quickly hid it and nodded with his gaze focused on the sheets again.

_"You don't have to be afraid of me Stark. I can't recite any spells in this state and I am not sure I would want to do anything anyway beside laying here until Ragnarök comes. I will never achieve anything in this miserable life I am given, no matter if it were good or bad things."_

After some minutes of silence he heard the man across from him sigh and shift.

"I'm sorry for you." Loki looked up quickly in surprise and catched the gaze of the human. It was full of sincerity and his hand was tapping on an undamaged place of his lower leg. Frowning the god looked at the hand and back at the mortals face. When the silence began to feel a bit awkward Tony looked away and slowly removed his hand.

"You know the reason I can't get trough those things?" He started looking at the iron sewn trough the gods lips but Loki was already writing something on a paper. Shoving it towards the human he looked away with a frown. Why was Stark doing this? He knew there had to be some hidden reason for Stark to help him but he could only feel relieved, thankful and safe. When did he became so pathetic and weak?

He looked up at Tony who smiled slightly at the tiny _"I find it hard to believe you're doing all this for one who wronged you so much "_ that was written on the paper, and then looked up too. "

No thank you? Guess that would be too much too ask for then. Super villain suspicion, tssk. I'm supposed to help everyone in need since I am a good guy now, no?"

Loki yanked the paper back and added a _"now?"_

Tony chuckled "Heh shit, shouldn't have mentioned that. I could've guessed you would ask." After hesitating for a moment he added: "I wasn't always a good guy. Not so long ago I was nicknamed "Merchant of death" and the whole world was in fear of the weapons I produced."

_"What happened?"_

More hesitating. "The guy that was like a father to me ordered people to get me killed. But those guys realised who I was so they tortured me to make me make weapons. I made my suit instead. I saw what my weapons did to the people and the world. That night a very wise and brave man died for me and told me not to waste my life. So I didn't." He shrugged.

It was not often he talked about his past and only Pepper knew the whole story. He found it weird that (With exception of the shrapnel and arc-reactor part) he was now, out of all people, telling Loki.

_"you make it sound easy."_

"It is. You should try it. I can never undo the wrong I've done, but I can start with not making it worse." Tony smiled and Loki rolled his eyes at that.

_"What happened to your father-figure?"_

"Killed him. Well Pepper did, actually. That wasn't planned though. We only tried to stop him from killing me and destroying the place and such. Might sound familiar."

_"I ment to Rule here. Not to destroy. That would've been Jötunheim's fate."_

Tony raised an eyebrow. "Jötunheim?"

Loki mentally cursed. Why was he telling the human this? Because he wasn't the only one spilling his secrets? Why was Stark even telling him this? Did he want to give him a feeling of safeness? Did he loved his own voice that much? He wasn't to be trusted.

_"Home planet of the Frost giants. They're the monsters in the Asgardian tales. They're every disgusting adjective you can imagine."_

"Fearing the scary monsters from your childhood bedtime stories? Very mature." Tony joked. Suddenly a flash of anger shot trough Loki's eyes , but it was gone in less than a second.

"What?" Tony asked, already doubting if he had really seen it but Loki shook his head and turned it away, frowning again.

"Well okey then. No pressure. " The confidential story-sharing mood was gone and Tony rose from the bed.

"If you need something, just...ahm...knock 3 times on anything you can reach. Jarvis will warn me. You know how to get those things off? I tried some things already but nothing worked so far." He said taking a step back towards the door.

Loki grabbed the notebook and markers and tossed it to the billionaire when he was done writing _"It's magically enchanted. Nothing here on Midgard will get through it until Odin intends it to be removed. And when that is is something only he knows. It's like when Thor was banished and could only wear his hammer again when he was worthy of it."_

"Ouch. That sucks. Well, I'll search for something anyway. Can't hurt to try. How will you eat and drink otherwise?" He moved closer again and gave back the notebook.

_"I will show you if you get me something."_ Loki wrote hesitatingly.  
Tony nodded and turned towards the door. "Don't move. I'll be back in a minute."

Tony searched his kitchen for something Loki would like. He hadn't much to begin with, his irregular eating-patterns not compatible with quickly decaying food. He Grabbed a can of conserved peaches, some waffles and warmed up a can of ravioli. Together with a bottle of water, a bottle of scotch and a pair of glasses he dropped everything on a tray and went down again.

When the automatic doors to his lab unlocked he peeked inside. Loki was still in his cell but Tony stopped abruptly. He was up and looked at himself in the mirror. His hand traced the stitches in his mouth and the look on his face was by far the saddest the human had ever seen. Here he was, a millennia-old god, His primary defence system his lies and tricks. Over the centuries he had gathered the name silvertongue, and now he was unable to use it at all. He was completely at the mercy of a human that he had wronged in the past and he had no way to do anything about it. Suddenly Loki turned around and noticed Tony. He looked ashamed at being seen so vulnerable and Tony thought of giving him a moment but in the he entered anyway, putting down the tray with a worried look. This could just not be the same guy as the one that tried to take over New York.

"Hey, don't look so sad reindeer games. I am really sorry for...your loss, but I am sure we'll find a way to get trough it. We can work it out if we work on it together." He had really no fucking idea why on earth he was trying to comfort Loki and offering him his continued aid, baaad idea Tony, but he couldn't stand how miserably the guy looked. He just couldn't be totally evil if he could look like that. Tony had his friends when he hat hit rock bottom, and since there was no one to Loki. He knew he wasn't good with people, but he could at least try, and Loki on their good side would be definitely better as on their bad.

Loki sighed. _"Don't pity me. There was no one to care for my words to begin with anyway."_ He wrote down.

"Why?" Tony asked while opening the bottles. "There must be a reason you went all batshit on our planet and wanted to destroy that other one. Scotch or water?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN I am back! it's because of the lovely 4 reviews I had on fanfiction from Tilia Cordata , Pandalover56, scarletcat969 and sbrock777
> 
> I already got this mostly typed out before I posted part one, so this will be the real point of challenge for me to see if I can do it or not. Thank you soooo much for all the follows and reviews, more are welcome (especially on the part of Lokes/Tony's relationship, too fast or good?) , They make my day and are my inspiration to continue! Thank you for reading!
> 
> xxx
> 
> Myr


	3. The truth

**Loki's cage, Stark tower**

Of course it was scotch. No one could prefer water over scotch and Tony would have anyone nicknamed him goldfish for the rest of their lives if they did. Obligatory. But it seemed like Loki knew what was good for him so after he sat down on his bed again slowly he gave him his glass and the plate with ravioli, waffles and peaches.

Tony looked with a sort of fascination to Loki, wondering what he'd do. He already thought of mixing it for him and giving him it through a straw but Loki picked up a waffle and moved it towards his lips. Surprisingly the thing went right trough the stitches and although he couldn't open his mouth any more as before it could just get trough and he chewed on the tiny bite he took. Withdrawing the waffle the stitches were still in place. "Whoa, that's a neat trick!." Tony said, still staring wide eyed. Loki carelessly wrote some words on the notebook more occupied with eating. For some reason Tony had a feeling he was starved. Tony grabbed it when he dropped it on the bed and sat down next to Loki

_"It's Odin's magic. Frigga would never forgive him if he let me starve to death. Although that'd be an easy solution for his problem. "_

"His problem?"

Loki hesitated before grabbing the notebook again. bitterly he wrote

_"Me."_

And when Stark looked at him with a genuinely curious look, he couldn't hold back anymore. For the first time in centuries, someone was actually willing to listen to him. Not because he needed the information, but because he wanted it. How ironically he couldn't speak right now. And It be damned that Stark was his enemy, It be damned that he was just a mere mortal, It be all damned because he didn't really think his situation could get any worse. So he spilled it all in the little notebook.

He wrote about his youth in the shadow of Thor. How everyone despised his magic and his preference for knowledge and art. The coronation. His real intentions, to show his father Thor wasn't ready. The quest to Jötunheim that went totally wrong. The moment he found out he had been just a prize, nothing more as a stolen trophy. That he was the being the people around him hated most. He wrote about his last desperate attempt to prove his worth, keeping Thor out of Asgard and luring Laufey in to kill him and his people. He didn't hide that he ordered the destroyer to kill Thor in his rage, in fact, he didn't care enough anymore to lie at all. He wrote about the fight on the rainbow bridge and how he just wanted the nightmare to stop. How he gave up and fell for an eternity. His pen didn't stop at the part where he was found by the Chitauri. How he had been a test subject until Thanos noticed him and his worth and how he fuelled his hate more and more with the sceptre until he was a burning ball of rage. He didn't deny it was his own hate and he didn't deny that his actions on earth were his. Now that his head was clear again he realised that Thanos would never have let him live. But back then, he just needed to feel important and powerful again. He just had to prove to Thor and Odin that he was to a force to be reckoned Yes, at that moment he couldn't have cared less about collateral damage and stupid human lives. And when he put down the pen at the part where he was taken back to Asgard and Tony had read all of it, the human could understand. There was no excuse for his deeds, they were still serious crimes, but Tony understood what had driven him to do it.

" Whoa, and I thought I had daddy issues." Tony murmured when he looked up from the notebook. Loki looked away from him but Tony could just feel the tense atmosphere. After a while of silence he slowly raised his hand and put it on Loki's shoulder.

When he felt the touch on his shoulder Loki tensed immediately. He hadn't know what reaction to expect but it really hadn't been this one. Why? Why was the mortal doing this? And why did he suddenly felt so whole again after such a long time of being a floating mass of broken pieces? And then the hand disappeared and the feeling was gone. But that little moment had been enough to remind him of how one was supposed to feel. Whole. And he craved it like air.

"Well I should mention that was a toddler tantrum on royal godlike format and you could've probably handled that a lot better, but I can't say I would've done it better myself. I know how it feels to be never good enough for everyone around me. C'mon Saruman, eat your heavenly human food and get a good night's rest. You should've never stood up in the first place with half the bones in your body broken. How did you even do that shit?"

 _"I heal a lot quicker than mortals Stark .It comes with the immortality I presume."_ He wrote while eating.

"Interesting." Tony mused, his mind wandering off to think about the scientific parts of immortality. They sat in silence until Loki finished his meal. Tony took the tray and stood up. "Goodnight Skywalker" He said, walking out.

Tony took the lift to the main area, told Jarvis to put on some music and went to the window Loki had once threw him trough. And when he put his hand on the window, as slowly as he had put it on Loki's shoulder, The amount of himself he suddenly recognized in Loki scared him. All the human lives he had forced to an end with the weapons he had created, their sole purpose proving to a man who would never care again what he was worth. He had never once stopped to think about them, before.

If he could be saved. so could Loki.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was writing this in the elevator and top bol from the atomium in Brussels, so I guess I can safely assume I got the "not enough devotion to manage a story" problem handled XD


	4. It was totally not-

**Stark Tower, Tony's bedroom**

Tony woke to Jarvis' voice announcing something but he was still too far gone to pay attention to it. Suddenly he remembered the events of the previous day and the Norse god somewhere in his tower and he was wide awake.

"Repeat that?" He asked alarmed.

"Miss. Potts is calling you, sir." Jarvis answered dutifully and Tony couldn't help to let out a relieved sigh. He would rather not have a super villain going on a rampage in NY before breakfast although he didn't really see Loki as a super villain anymore already and he didn't really think he'd go on a rampage in his state. Still, you never knew.

"Put her on loud Jarv'." Tony said, getting up from his XXL king size bed and into the bathroom.

"-And you have to find a new manager fo- Tony! You picked up? Excuse me, one second." some rustling was heard. "Tony, are you alright?" She sounded quite concerned. "Is New York alright?"

"Pepper, please, It's- " He looked around and groaned. "Ten in the morning, for god's sake. With the time difference, it's even earlier there. What on earth are you already doing in a meeting?"

"Tony, did you know most people start their day at 7 o'clock?"

"They're crazy." He said, splashing water on his face. But then again, they probably didn't went to sleep as late as him. Last night he had hung around in his living room aimlessly for some hours, before he got down to his lab again to work on some tech. That he could see Loki's cage with the sleeping god in it from there had been just a coincidence. And he had totally not thought about the god all night. And toootally not looked at him more than necessary. Nope. He was not some kind of creep.

"-Tony?"

"What? Sowwy, soned out, 'just gosh up 'nd uhm... Shinking 'bou bweakfas." Tony answered, stuffing a sandwich in his mouth.

"Tony, you're a big boy, don't talk with your mouth full. I was asking if you're alright. And if you got...your problem under control."

"Pepps, I am as good as ever and Draco Malfoy is still downstairs in his cage. We had a good long talk last night and I don't think there's a lot of 'Kneel thou puny mortals, I will rule thou all' Attitude left to be honest. Don't worry about me. Go have fun bossing people around. Take a day of and take in San Francisco with Happy. I'm going to eat breakfast and everything's still in one piece so stop. Worrying. See you later, got to hang up, it's impolite to talk with a full mouth. Sorry Pepps"

"Serio-"

"-Bye, kisses to the board from me. Jarvis, end the call."

"Yes sir."

Tony took another sandwich from the pile and poured himself some coffee. Since he and Pepper ended their relationship she made sure that the cantina for the employees of Stark tower sent up breakfast for Tony every day, making sure that he had at least one meal a day. They decided on the breakup together, so there had been no months of depression, but Tony had buried himself in work so it had been a smart precaution. Pepper still worked for him and they were still something like best friends. She and Happy had hooked up, and fine, he had seen Happy had a crush on Pepper since a long time, but Pepper returning the feelings had been totally unexpected. He thought she preferred Phil. Agent. Whatever. He actually remembered Pepper telling him he was married to his cellist now. So now he had to live with his driver and ex-girlfriend/secretary hooking up, and while they stayed...chaste in front of Tony, It had been a tiny bit awkward at first. But he guessed in the end you could grow accustomed to everything.

When he had enough sandwiches he took the tray (Which was still loaded with enough food for 3 persons) downstairs to the lab. When he arrived down there Loki still seemed asleep but when he burst in saying "Wakie wakie sleepyhead" maybe a tad too loud the god just opened his eyes a tiny bit and made a noise that sounded like a grunt in the back of his troath.

Tony chuckled and gave him the tray. Loki apparently appreciated the food and they sat in comfortable silence for a while, Tony typing away on a Starkpad. When Loki finished the food and put the tray away, Tony looked up.

"So, Merlin, seems like I have a gift for you. I mean, I gave you the notebook yesterday, but paper is so 20th century, so I guess I could give you one of these. I think you must be smart enough, since Thor starts to understand the curious ways of a telephone by now and it has only been months since he got one. No, just joking, his texts are adorable. My company makes these things so no complaining." He said with a smile, throwing the Starkpad to Loki.

The god picked it up with a curious look and his eyebrows shot up when the screen changed into something else when he touched it. Tony let out an amused sigh and positioned himself next to the god on the bed. The rest of the morning and early afternoon was spent on learning a Norse deity to use modern technology. Loki was smart and Tony found it surprisingly amusing to explain to someone with no clue on modern technology the very basics. Unlike Thor Loki actually understood more than the "you push this button and you can talk to this person."-part. They even ventured into the techniques behind the tablet for a while, namely electricity and Tony found in Loki a very interested and bright pupil.

By the end of the afternoon, Loki knew how to send messages to Tony's tablet and Jarvis, how to use Google, Wikipedia, YouTube, how to write documents, and some other basics. He even explained the E-reader app, and to his surprise, Loki seemed to have a basic knowledge of the older human literature up to the end of the 19th century. It seemed that Loki had loved exploring other realms and gaining knowledge from them in the past. Which made him wonder how old Loki actually was, but he decided that was a question for the next chat, when he suddenly saw the hour.

"Lokes, It was real fun hanging out with you, but I really got to go now. I have dinner with the Avengers around 6 O'clock, so I have to go and prepare myself. Don't worry, I'll ask Jarv' to order some take out for you to eat. Do you like Chinese?"

The eye roll he received at that said more as a -"You know fucking well I don't know what Chinese tastes like" Ever could, so Tony flashed the god a grin and patted him on the shoulder, standing up.

"Just tell Jarvis when you're hungry and he'll order you some okay, Reindeer games? You have all information and music known to mankind in your hands, so I guess that can keep you busy for a while, right?" When Loki nodded Tony made the "taking of my hat"-move and got out. And while he walked out, he could feel the god's eyes on him until the door of his lab fell shut behind him.

And that totally did not make him shudder.

When Tony was finally ready and dressed after a good half hour, and just about to leave, Jarvis spoke up. "Sir, I must inform you that...your resident downstairs has trouble breathing."

"What? What happened?" Tony jumped straight into the elevator and hit the button of his lab floor way too hard. "I think he lost the ability to stop laughing sir. Although he seems to do a little better already." "What the fu- What on earth made that guy laugh that much?"

"It seems like he googled his own name sir. He found some sites on Norse mythology" And that got Tony laughing his ass of too. By the time he got into the lab he was still chuckling.

"You okay, Oh mighty god?" He asked from the door. Loki nodded, making a last little cough, still with the grin on his face.

"I must go, but I really want to hear what made you laugh like that next time buddy." and with that he was gone. When he got to his car, he was still chuckling occasionally. And when the avengers noticed Tony was in a particularly good mood that evening, it must've been a coincidence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the lack of updates of the stories I follow can make even my lazy ass update XD Oh and Pepper and Happy were canon in the comics. I rather ship her and Phil, but this was easier for the story. And yep, no text from Loki, but it's hard to be talkative when you can't talk...also for the people who were following on fanfiction, take this as a sign that after a waaaay too long hiatus (So sowwwwyyy, I started uni and shit) I almost have the next chapter ready. I thought...why not torture Loki some more?? like...why not?


	5. Losing my face/ mirrors of the soul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guuuys I'm sorry to let you down, everyone wanted Lokes opinion on Norse myths, but it's not possible because humanity can't know about Loke's heritage years before him. Sooo, altered version of the myths it will be, but next chapter! also WARNING Gore, and selftorture

 

  


**A restaurant in New York city**

Tony was moving his food around with his fork on his plate, chewing slowly, trying his best not to look nervous or annoyed after his amusedness about Loki and the internet has faded. His friends were talking about their days and trivial things and why normally that would not have bothered him, His thoughts kept returning to a certain black haired god in his tower. After Clint finished the story of how he had been send to help with the giant woodfires all around the country and wondered what they expected there from an archer,they finally stood up.

Usually he would have invited all of them over to his tower to have a drink to end the evening but well..there was a little problem here. Suddenly something came to his mind and he interrupted the situation in a seemingly careless trademark Tony Stark way.

"Hey btw, any news yet from prince charming? That's three months no news already."

Natasha shook her head, resting her piercing gaze on him. " S.H.I.E.L.D scientists reported an energy reading similar to the one from the bifrost some days ago but they are still tracking it down. No sign of Thor so far though."

Tony made a mental note to destroy al evidence of bifrostlike activity before they found out that the patient he didn't actually bring to the hospital wasn't just a random drunk guy. And then it hit him. Was he actually considering deleting information from S.H.I.E.L.D. in favour of a war criminal? For one second he considered the option of telling Natasha everything, but then another thought crept up into his treacherous mind. Did they need three months to come up with the worst possible torture. Did they need three months to be able to justify this act for themselves?

He blinked and knew his decision stood. Loki was his problem now and he would handle it. Tony had never been one for smart decisions anyway, so he strolled out of the restaurant behind his friends, into the night, while reminding himself that he did not felt a little guilty about this. Not at all. The frowny look Natasha threw at his back when he left totally escaped him.

 

  


**Stark tower**

  
The moment Tony got into his private elevator and the doors closed behind him Jarvis greeted him in a way he had earlier that day, and for the second time, Tony's heart almost stopped.

"Goodnight sir, I should inform you that your guest is currently heavily bleeding on his floor, and that he also seems to be overwhelmed by emotions. You were occupied with the Avengers so I thought it would be unwise t-" Tony slammed the buttons of the elevator almost out of the wall.

"Goddamnit Jarv' , this is the second time something happens. Next time you send me a fucking text immeadiately if this or  _just something_ happens again." He growled, angry at himself that he hadn't given the order earlier. Loki could text him and Jarvis, so why haden't he?

When the elevator pinged open some seconds later , Tony didn't knew what to expect. What happened to the god? He slammed open the door to his lab and his eyes locked onto the glass cage. There was blood everywhere. On the floor, on the walls, but the worst was the bloody handprints that were dragged downwards over the glas wall. His eyes followed them down and on the floor, curled up in his own blood, they found Loki. Sobbing softly and shaking all over his body, The god had his face turned away from him, but an eerie feeling crept over Tony as he realised where the blood probably came from.

He threw open the door and dropped onto his knees in the middle of the puddle of blood. Very softly he turned The god around, but the moment he saw Loki's face, he couldn't contain a gasp filled with horror. Loki's eyes were pressed tightly shut in agony, but his lower face-Actually, scratch that. There was little left of skin below his nose, and it was all one bloody mess. Loki had tried to rip the threads, and his skin when that didn't work, with his bare hands, his fingernails. Meat, skin and lips had dissapeared, and on some places even bloody teeth were visible, but the metal that held it al sealed together still shone cruelly and brightly, totally unchanged.

And then, while Tony was still frozen, Loki opened his eyes. Inside of them there was only a lightblue haze of agony and hysteria, The god lost somewhere beyond. But when their eyes locked it faded away, and for a second Tony only saw endlesss despair. _Please end this now_ ,They screamed. He felt something break inside him when the eyes closed and more tears mixed with blood and meat, and he scooped Loki up in a tight embrace.

"DUMMY, GET ME MORPHINE, NOW! JARV, CALL DR. JAMES." This was not something Tony could handle. He wasn't good at comforting people, let alone helping them. He shaked the sobbing god lightly, grabbing the IV that Dummy got him and inserted it into his arm. It wouldn't really help him but everything was good if it took a bit of that pain away, Tony thought.

At first it didn't seem to make a difference, agony still written all over his body, but then something curious started to happen. Before his eyes the skin and flesh started to knot together. Slowly, but steadily, everything moved back in place. It was...not a sight for weak-stomached persons, and even with the painkillers Loki seemed in a lot of pain. cruelly the skin knitted together around the stitches and flesh and meat dissapeared under it. By the time the doctor got there though, only soft pink skin, like you see it after a wound has recently healed, remained, and Loki was finally deep asleep.

Toghether they cleaned up all the blood and James checked up on the god. All was, apart from the stitches ofcourse, normal and after they told Jarvis to monitor the god they went to sit in the lab. From there they could keep an eye on Loki trough the glass wall and talk aloud without waking him.

"So." Dr. James started calmly. " I was on my way to you when Jarvis called me saying there was an emergency, that my patient had crawled of half of his face. When I arrive there is no injury apart from the stitches and even the injuries from before appear to be gone. If my patient is not...entierly human...and you knew about it, you should've warned me Mr. Stark. His body could have reacted to the medicines in a different way. Maybe the reason why he tried to rip of his face were the medicines..."

" You are right. I owe you an explanation." Tony sighed, leaning against a metal workbench. After a long time of hesitation he started. "He's....the same race as Thor. His brother actually. He's the one that led the attack on New York three months ago. But...I've talked alot to him and...he got his reasons. I can't defend him but...to a certain extent I can understand how it happened. Anyhow. I found him like this and I couldn't leave him. I couldn't turn him in because the people who handle these things would just treat him even worse. And no one deserves this. Not even as punishment. You are a doctor, You should understand this."

Dr. James' look had become stern  And a frown had appeared between his eyes. Swallowing, Tony could only hope he didn't make a grave mistake in trusting the doctor. On the other hand, he trusted him to handle his own life, so this might be a good test. Dr. James looked up from the bic he had found in one of his pockets.

" I am bound by the contract that I signed to you and my doctor's oath. I will not talk about him to anyone else Mr. Stark."

Tony let out a sigh of relief. "Oh great. Phew. That's great, really great-"

"Can I examinate him again now that I know what he is? I might be able to discover what made him lose it. It might have been something in the medicine. I have enough blood to test on at least."

" Yeah go ahea-Wait!" Tony yelled pushing himself away from the worktable. He had been replaying last half hour in his head when suddenly he had remembered Loki's eyes. The lightblue haze of pain. He had seen it before. Now that he though about it...

"Jarvis. Pull up the security feed  from when I was offering our guest a drink three months ago. Also the footage where the Hulk used him to wipe the floor, then a video from this afternoon and finally from our latest situation. Zoom in on the eyes."

"Yes sir."

The hologram appeared against the glass wall of Loki's cage. 

 **" _I have an army"  "We have a Hulk"_**   _**"** **I thought the beast had wandered off... "**   **The god eyed him curiously.**  _ Blue eyes.

 _ **A broken god, half embedded in his floor, looking up at them. "** **If it's all the same to you, I'll have that drink now."**_   looking up with green eyes. 

 _ **"And that way everyone can acces all information known to man. But you have no idea if it's true at all. Could be the biggest crap.**_ **"** **Loki rolled his eyes.**   He rolled his green eyes. 

 _ **Loki down on the ground, his nails embedded in his skin, pulling it of, Blue eyes blown wide and fixed on nothing.**_   Blue eyes.

 _ **Tony holding Loki desperatly, the god first lost in agony but then in a clear moment pleading with his eyes to end it all for him.**_ The change was not a very big one, but they had definately changed from blue to green.

The fuck was this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN. I took a lot of liberty with the eyes, no idea if they really changed in the canon scenes (probably not, should check that) but yeah... I guess it's not enough AU to make this AU. anyway, started uni, very busy, met ShippingOrange there and she inspired me to update (I said last chapter that I was almost ready, wich was true, but the last part didn't want to be written.) So Because I am doing a lot of Sherlock collabs with her (read rp's in class) I guess I am writing again (Go check our sherlock series and her sherlock work!! She's awesome!) So I hope to keep it up!


	6. I'm blue, dadudee dabudaa~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My thanks go out to Barranca who helped me out a lot with the plot after last chap.  
> Take this chapter as a birthday gift from me to you, because it's my birthday the 5th :D  
> soooooo....  
> *bows and leaves the stage*

 

 

**Stark tower, the lab.**

Dr. James had gone home late that night.They had been working on Loki's...problem...for a long time, but couldn't really make much of he bloodanalysis. It wasn't human, and it was not like he could go to Thor and ask "Hey, can I have a bloodsample to research?" for many different reasons. And even then, Loki had said they weren't even same race. The doctor promised to keep researching on it thoroughly with specialized equipment and after both of them had ran out of ideas Tony had let the man out. Tired, he turned back around to give Jarvis the lights out command, but he couldn't help staring at the god for a while. Kay, A really long while. But he had a good excuse. The fuck was happening to the guy? He got closer untill he was right in front of the glass wall separating Loki from the rest of the world.

Blue eyes...What was the meaning behind them? In the situations Tony had compared, Loik seemed a lot saner in green. But then what was the cause of this, and wich one was his natural state?  He really couldn't go ask Thor what LokI's eyecolour was. That'd be awkward.  And then he remembered where he had seen exactly the same kind of eyes. He scolded himself for not realising this earlier. Barton.  Dr. Selvig. The agents that invaded the hellicarrier. He hadn't seen them live but ofcourse he had seen the recordings at the debriefing. He hadn't linked it because Loki had never been posses- Had he? Or was it also the user of the stick that got glowy eyes?

No, Natasha hadn't. But Loki had possesed the others mind, not been possesed himself. He had said that he had been a test subject until Thanos noticed him and his worth and the monster had fuelled his hate more and more with the sceptre until he was a burning ball of rage. He hadn't denied it was his own hate and he hadn't denied that his actions on earth were his.That had been his exacts words.

 ...Fuelled his hate with the scepter. What exactly ment those words? Did Loki even knew himself? So much questions that had appeared in the last hours. Tony sighed. His eyes who had been absentmindly lingering on Loki, still llying motionless in the bed, moved up towards the god's  face and met open green eyes.

An electric bolt seemed to go all the way up his spine. his eyes seemed even more intense after he had been thinking (only in a scientific way, he assured himself) so much about them. He wanted to avert his glance but felt like he was caught staring and looking away would be admitting to that. After a while Loki was the first one to look away. He stared at his hands, long, white and elegant on the green sheets. His expression changed and i It became so hopeless, confused and sad that Tony couldn't do anything but swallow and open the door immeadiatly.

"Hey...Lokes" He said a bit hoarsly, entering the cage. " can I come in?"

Loki reached for the tablet still on his bedside table. _"You are already inside."_

Chuckling Tony shrugged. "Yeah actually...yeah, dumb thing to ask." He  sat down on the bed at Loki's feet and looked at him intesly again. Loki frowned in confusion and went to type something.

"What colour do your eyes have?"

Loki stopped his hand above the Starkpad and raised an eyebrow. _"excuse me?"  
_

"What is the colour of your eyes? Do they always have the same colour?"

Loki blinked. Twice. His raised eyebrow turned into a confused frown again. _" Green?"_

"You sure they're **always** green bambi?"

_"Yes? What is this about Stark?"_

"You should look in the mirror more often. Houston, you have a problem." _  
_

And then Loki's tensed while his eyes turned big. Fear and disgust rolled over his face like a tidal wave and his hands started trembling lightly. He threw the Starkpad to the end of the bed and couldn't meet Tony's eyes anymore. He swallowed heavily and once again Tony was left wondering what the fuck that was about.

"Lokes? Reindeer games?" The god was stubbornly staring at a little loose thread in his sheets. Tony stood up from the bed and smiled encouragingly.

"Hey, what's up with your eyes turning blue? I really want to help you here, but you got to give me data to work with buddy." He threw the Starkpad back in his lap again and sat down in a chair next to the head of the bed, his hands on his knees. loki looked up at him, now more alarmed than disgusted.

_"Blue?"_

"No, Magenta. Yeah, blue, what did you expect?" Now it was Tony's turn to raise an eyebrow. He could just see the "oh" forming in Loki's mind, the confusion pouring into his face in deeper lines. He certainly hadn't been expecting this plot twist. But then why had he reacted this way?

"You clearly weren't expecting blue...so what were you expecting?"

 _"It...doesn't matter."_ Clearly it did.

 _  
_Tony threw him his "I'm patiently-going-to-sit-here-until-you-spill" glance and hoped Loki didn't knew him well enough yet to know that he didn't posses any patience in the slightest. Loki threw him an irritated glance and sighed. But he started typing and Tony couldn't help that the corner of his mouth went upwards just a tiny bit. See, it wasn't that difficult. Loki held out the Starkpad and he took it from him.

_"I thought my real form had shown itself. That you had seen the monster I really am. My true form. Its eyes are red as spilled blood."_

Wow, yeah, issues. Maybe that word was becoming an understatement for the god. That was serious selfhating, signs of zero selfesteem and talking about yourself in third person all in one tiny line. Definitely not healthy.

Tony swallowed."God Lokes, it can't be that bad. I mean, looks don't matter and all that crap. surely you're still the same little ray of sunshine you always are, in a new little shell? It's not like you suddenly will go Dr. Hide? You won't really change in a monster, You will just...look lik-Okay no, That was probably the worst way I could've-You'll just look like how...Asgardians picture monsters?"

Loki snatched the Starkpad back. _"Then am I not?"_

"Are you what?"

_"A monster Stark. Am I not a monster that deserves to look like one?"_

At that Tony looked him straight in the eye. "No. You are not a monster. You've done bad things. But so has everyone. I was the merchant of death. Clint and Natasha probably assassinated more people together than there are bottles of alcohol in my tower. Bruce, the Hulk, destroyed Harlem. You told me your brother was going to kill a whole realm of innocent people. Steve...Okay that's an exception to every rule, but even he killed in war. But That doesn't make us monsters. We did what we did for a reason, and at that time it seemed a good one. And if it doesn't seem a good one anymore, all the better, proof you are not that same person anymore. No one's born a monster. You can be raised to become one, but in the end it are just our own actions who determine what you become. It's never too late. You're immortal. You have eternity to make up for your missteps. And if you don't want to spend that eternity as a monster, I am sure you can. Your skin doesn't determine what you do, and only what you do determines who you are."

And suddenly he noticed tears slowly rolled down Loki's face. "I know how it feels to think that you'll never be enough. That's how it feels right? Like you're not who you should be in the eyes of everyone else?" And Loki nodded.

"I know how you feel." Tony said again, putting his hand on Loki's. Suddenly he had a bright idea.

"But maybe that's the message behind the wires! Maybe your dad wants you to accept that what your skin and blood is doesn't change the person you are. The person you are in their eyes!" Loki looked very sceptical.

"Can- Can you change into your other appearance? To get the thread out? Maybe it works? I mean you never know?"

Loki still looked very doubtful and there was also a deeprooted pain in his eyes, Tony saw now. "Can you do it for me then? Because I want to get to know you? If you don't trust your dad, trust my honest curiosity." Might have been a stupid thing to say.

Loki looked taken aback. So, yeah, stupid thing to say.

-And gave a little snort. The corners of his lips curled up and he rolled his eyes, But not in a mean way. In the "I-really-don't-understand-this-foolish-human-what-is-he-doing" way. Slowly he removed his hand from under Tony's. _"Do not touch me. The touch of a frostgiant will give you frost burn."_

Frost...giant? Uh-oh. He hoped Loki wasn't going to burst out of his shirt and sweatpants like Brucie. Loki swallowed and looked at Tony, who waited patiently but expectingly, right in the eyes. First nothing happened, and Tony could feel the tension hanging in the room, pulsing between them.

But then from the middle of his eyes a red colour seeped toward the very outsides, until they were fully blood red. Blue colour washed over his skins and lines made patterns all over him as far as Tony could see. And he didn't understood why Loki had been so scared, or why Asgardians couldn't appreciate this. This...was a work of art. Without thinking he reached out with his fingers but Loki pulled his arm away and hissed, still looking very very unhappy with himself.

 "Oh right, no touching. But god, you should see your self. Have you seen yourself? This...this is art!"

Loki looked at him skeptically.  
"Ah come on, You're still exactly you, Just blue and with a nice pattern. I totally don't see how this is so bad. It's beautiful! Why the hell do the Asgardians see this as scary? If I found one of you guys under my bed at night I wouldn't run away screaming, on the contrary." Ohshit. Tony, seriously? He wasn't going to think about what he just said, in fact, he was going to forget he ever said that. nope. Not thinking about Thor's little brother in that way. That was wrong on so many levels.

  
"Uhm well yeah. So Frost _giant _?__ didn't look like you've grown out of your clothes all of sudden."

He gave Loki the Starkpad, but the god shook his head and put his finger softly on the side showing that ice would form if he tried to type. Tony put it on the night desk for later use, but when he looked back at Loki he saw that the god's eyes were full of tears. With the red and blue, it was not as visible, but there rolled one all the way down his cheek and the very soft sobs he now started to make were clear enough.

  
"Snowflake? hey, I am sorry it didn't work, but we'll find the solution soon enough, I promise." Loki looked away and slowly the blue skin changed back into its usual colour. But the tears and sobs didn't stop. Was it only because the threads were still there? No, it was probably for a lot more. Tony reached out again now that it was safe and started to rub the god's arm. And very very slowly the god's frame relaxed, tears still spilling from his eyes in an unstoppable flood. Much later, after all the tears were up, they both fell asleep, Tony first, still half sitting in the chair, arms and head on the bed and Loki's arm.

Loki watched him for a long time, deeply in thought. But in the end he too closed his eyes, putting his hand on top of Stark's and finally following him into an undisturbed sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry, no horns for frostgiants here ^_^ (even though I find them fucking sexy as well but Loki was clearly not having them in the movie)  
> Also (I seem to be adding an also everytime that I write another part XD) I looked into my writer (my phone writing program) this moring and last night I seemed to have accidentally named the document "When one can't sleep chapter 6 " Yep, This will need a lot of rereading if I was that far gone XD


	7. do you understand?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I REALLY had a full month of exams. sorry. have a chapter as apology, 'kay?  
> since you guys asked for the myths....have lots of Loki talki-well, writing....It's something XD  
> Also go thank ShippingOrange and Darkness-Angels (like by reading their awesome work) because they kind of are the reason I managed to get over my writing block for the last 300words.  
> 

Tony yawned and lifted his head from his arm, rubbing his eyes. His back was hurting like a bitch and he cursed himself for falling asleep on his workbench again. No, wait, this was entirely too soft to be his workbench. His eyes shot open and he looked straight into curious green eyes. Oh great, he had fallen asleep on Loki, for fucks sake.  
Not showing his discomfort at the situation he flashed him a blinding grin. “Morning sunshine! What’s for breakfast? “

  
He pushed himself into sitting position and was glad to see that Loki was wearing a little smile. That was a welcoming change from last night. Oh goad, last night...Some serious talking was still bound to happen, but when Tony heard his stomach protest, he decided breakfast came first.

  
“Jeesh, seems like I have to do everything here myself. I’ll be right back Garga-oh wait no, it’s grumpy Smurf now” He said, jumping up and heading for the door. Loki shot him an irritated look for the references he couldn’t understand, but Tony was already gone. He rolled his eyes and went to change his clothes and wash up. The man was insufferable but somehow he seemed to irritate Loki way less than he should. He groaned when he recalled their talk yesterday evening. Even right after a mental breakdown, he could find no excuse for his pathetic behaviour. But it did feel a lot better now. He felt less desperate, more accepting in his fate, and ready to make the best out of it. But that couldn’t possibly be the result of his talk to Stark. No, he couldn’t accept the mortal had this much influence on him.

  
He looked up into the mirror at himself. Tony had called his other form beautiful last night. He knew a lot of woman and quite a few man found his Asgardian appearance sexually attractive, he had used that to his advantage so many times after all, but he couldn’t believe that anyone could accept this other form, let alone find it beau- but then again Tony had no motive to lie about it. He could have left him to die when he found him, he could’ve left him to rot in his cell, here or with S.H.I.E.L.D.

  
Then something the archer had said came to his mind. He had not been too mentally stable at the time, but he had had enough brain cells left to gain information about his enemies. His primary focus had been on the beast, but he had asked the Hawk a little about all of them. Now about Stark...He had said he was an arrogant rich man with a metal suit, but extremely popular with the masses. He had said Stark was egocentric and had a huge ego (all according to his S.H.I.E.L.D files ) and that he was most known for his extravagant parties, drunkenness and the fact that he slept with anything on two legs.

  
Could it be this? He combed his fingers through his hair. Could it be that Stark just wanted to scrap “sleeping with the enemy in a literal way” from the list of things he wanted to do in his short human life? From what he had seen the day he had thrown him out of the window Stark liked to live dangerously, and he had flirted with him. Was that why he was so carefully making sure Loki got better?  
But he didn’t really seemed to be the cunning type, a person that would be nice to someone just to reach an end. Yesterday, It had all seemed and felt so real. He found it difficult to believe that the panic when he had found him had been acted, or the comfort that he had given him afterwards. He didn’t want to believe it either. Yet Stark only lusting over his body was the only explanation that made sense to him at the moment. He quickly swirled around when he heard the lab door opening.

  
“There we are, mommy Jarvis made us breakfast!” Some struggles followed to get the second door open with the plate in his hand.”Jarv, just open it for me already, I’m sorry I called you mommy!”

  
“Yes sir.”

  
Both men were sure they could hear a sigh in there somewhere. “Yeah, forget that I said that, Jarvis being a mom would be too awkward. Poor kid. Anyway, you really like that mirror, don’t you, snow white? The two times I catch you upright is before it. ” He said, putting the tray on the bedside table.

“We should really get you a table. But hey, if it’s still about being blue, don’t worry. Here on earth discriminating on skin colour or race is really, really not done. Everyone’s equal. We even have very popular movie characters who look kind of like you and come from outer space-yea, you should totally see Avatar! I mean, you’ve never really seen a movie right? Oh goad I can’t believe that, You miss so much culture!”

  
Tony rambled on, but Loki rolled his eyes and reached for the tray, not really paying attention anymore. Not being judged on race or skin colour, it sounded nice, but he doubted that all humans were doing it so naturally as Tony made it sound. Loki was raised with the ideas that everyone was born unequal. The different races were, but even inside a race, everyone was suited better for certain tasks. Stark said something in the background about great responsibilities of introducing him the right way, But it didn’t quite register and since he stuffed a sandwich in his mouth just after that, Loki figured it wasn’t that important. Humans seemed to be more and more interesting, building a society on the idea that everyone was equal. They had changed so much in the last few hundred years. He would have to search the internet on his Starkpad, some more, because it seemed like there were still some interesting things to be learned.

  
While taking his time with his food, he took the Starkpad and opened the internet. Stark looked interested in what he was doing and then it seemed like he remembered something because he tried to swallow his food. “ Hey, I was still going to ask! Last time, when you got that laughing fit, what the hell did you google?”

  
 _“Human knowledge on myself and the Asgardians.”_ Loki smiled, not looking away from the screen.

  
“So what’s so funny ‘bout that?” He could imagine it had been funny, because he had wikipedia’d the Norse deities himself, and not half of that could be true. Even more, most of it was totally ridiculous.

  
 _“There are a lot of incorrect facts and stories, but a lot of it is also quite close to the truth. Snorri, the writer of most of it, was a human writer that happened to be on a feast we threw on Midgard many years ago. I managed to get Thor drunk, and then he went and told the human all of Asgard’s most embarrassing stories. It is quite funny that it survived the ages.”_

  
“So Norse myths are like you guy’s equivalent of bad childhood memories?”

_"You might want to call it that."_

"So, wich ones are true then? You can't say Thor was a dragqueen before it was invented?"

 _"That one certainly happened. I was really satisfied he chose to share that one with the world"_ Loki smirked.

"And you really tied a goat to your holy parts?"

Loki chuckled. _"I certainly did. Skadi was an interesting woman and it was a pity she divorced Njord and moved away from Asgard again."_

"Ooooookay...and you're really the dad of an 8 legged horse, a gigantic wolf and Snake and a half corpse? " Tony said raising an eyebrow. Suddenly the mood changed into something much more tense.

_"Watch your mouth Stark. My children are the most precious things in the nine realms to me and I will not tolerate any insolence or insult."_

Tony raised his hands in a nonthreathening way "Wasn't saying anything! Phew, well- you must've been a one of a kind dad. must be nice to see when they bring girl- or boyfriends back home"

 _"It was"_ Loki snickered, apparently totally calmed down again. _"Especially that time Sleipnir courted Hela's horse without her knowing about it."_ Tony threw him a disbelieving look but Loki just kept grinning and he couldn't find out if he was just messing with him or if it really happened. Probably real, if you read the other stories. Tony would love getting some about Loki out of Thor at a party after lots of drinking. but when he asked "So, where are your kids now then?" the good mood was gone as fast as it came back.

_"They're...Sleipnir works in the stables as Odin's steed. He's happy with the job and I can-could see him often enough. Odin made Hela queen of the realm of the dead, because more and more Asgardians became disturbed with her appearance. She had no choice but to accept. And then...Jorm and Fen...There was a prophecy, the people started to talk and became afraid of their large sizes and Odin just...he banished Jörmundgandr to the depts of the sea and he chained up Fenrir somewhere where no one would find him.Their mother got executed because she refused to accept this and I...I couldn't do anything. I begged Odin but he wouldn't listen..they were barely adults. I hated him. I hated the world. I hated myself most. I was so blind to think he was my real father."_

A tear crashed on the Starkpad but Loki quickly wiped the wetness from his eyes when Tony looked up. He cleared his troath and decided that Loki's pride probably couldn't handle two crying sessions so close behind eachother. This was so fucked up.

"So-ehm you want to see that movie with the blue dudes upstairs? I have a homecinema  you know" Tony asked, trying to clear the mood. It looked like it worked, because Loki looked a bit relieved when he nodded, and Tony got up and held out his hand to help him up. The god rolled his eyes and Tony chuckled, eager to see how Loki would react toa movie on big screen. If it was going to be half as hilarious as with Thor, he was in for a good afternoon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I left Syginn and everything conserning her out, because it came too close to Ragnarök stuff and obviously humans can't know about that centuries before Loki even finds out he's a frostgiant. He did however Marry Sigyn and then got divorced while she moved away with the two kids in this story ( leaving the option open for a possible ragnarök in the faaar far future wich I will totally not include in the story)
> 
> *what follows is in no way really important, just a little timeline of Loki's life in my opinion, wich I will use for the story . You don't really have to read it*  
> In my opinion Loki is 10.000 years old (last iceage -> frostgiants on earth) His first 3000 years are like 16 in human time, wich the age on wich he got Sleipnir by getting raped by Svadilfari ( my explanation herefore is that he wasn't so skilled at magic then yet and therefore it went kind of wrong, that's why he's so young...and Yes, I am cruel too.) At the age of 4000, (20 in human) he married Angrboda and they got Hela. 4500 years old they got Jorm and Fen (only a couple of decade diference with Fen beeing the youngest.) When Loke's is around 7500 Hela is grown up and gets exiled to be queen of the dead. 500 years later Odin chains up Fen and imprisons Jorm which makes Angrboda go rogue and she gets executed. ( she and Loki got divorced around his 6000'th birthday) Then we have the last 2000 years, where he married Syginn in a marriage of convenience somewhere around the year 800. They get two kids and She moves out at the start of the 14th century (yes, Loki came sulking on earth around that time for a bit) After that the last 600years were pretty calm, with the last 100 in preparation of Thor's corronation (and therefore Lokes hasn't been on earth recently) tadaaaaa


End file.
